Feel
by slagheapwhore
Summary: "What is he doing here, Prim? What does he have to do with this?" "I called him Katniss. He has every right to be here as much as you do." "No!" she cries as a sob escapes her. "No. No. No!" Banner made by Ro Nordmann.


Disclaimer: The Hunger Games does not belong to me. That belongs to the genius that is Suzanne Collins. Yadda yadda yadda!

She's been standing in the same place since they lowered her into the ground. Everyone is long gone, waiting for them to arrive back at the reception… repast… Whatever it's called.

Katniss stands by the freshly filled hole, looking across the expanse of the cemetery. Rows of tombstones neatly placed on the green grass surrounding her. Another funeral is taking place just across the way. A sea of people dressed in black, not much different than herself.

It's a beautiful day. The sun is shining bright. Mocking her.

* * *

_The phone ringing wakes her from sleep. Katniss looks at the clock, 2:48am. Prim flashes on the screen._

_"Prim? What is so important-"_

_"You need to get to the hospital."_

_Confusion and worry fill her. "Prim, what's going on?"_

_"Katniss. Now!" Prim's voice shakes as it comes out. "I'll have someone meet you out front."_

_Katniss ends the call without saying goodbye. She dresses quickly as a million thoughts run through her head. She finally did it, she thinks._

_A friend of Prim's meets her out front; Rue she thinks her name is. She leads her through emergency to get to where Prim is waiting. "Do you know what's going on?" she tries to question her._

_"I'm sorry, Katniss. Prim is waiting for you upstairs."_

_Katniss follows silently, heart pounding in her chest. They reach the elevators and Rue presses the button that will lead them to ICU. Katniss only knows this because she's been there before. Finally, they reach their destination._

_Prim is in her nurse's uniform, waiting at the nurse's desk. She must have been working, Katniss thinks. Her face is somber, her eyes are red from crying and before she can say anything Katniss is already speaking._

_"It's Mom, isn't it?"_

_Prim shakes her head and opens her mouth._

_"Prim! I came as fast as I could."_

_Katniss turns suddenly at the sound of his voice, knowing who it is without having to look. Their eyes meet and Katniss can't help but feel the anger fill her. "What is he doing here, Prim? What does he have to do with this?"_

_Peeta tries to speak again, but is interrupted. "I called him Katniss," her head whips back to face her, "He has every right to be here as much as you do."_

_Katniss's eyes widen. It can't be. "No!" she cries as a sob escapes her. "No. No. No!"_

* * *

"Katniss?" his voice breaks her thoughts. She stiffens as he moves to stand beside her. "We should go now."

Anger fills her at his words. "There is no we Peeta," she bites out venomously, not turning to face him. "You can go, but I'm going to stay here. With her. Something you never did."

"Don't do this Katniss. Not now. She wouldn't want that. Please?" he pleads desperately with her. He moves to take her hand but she pulls it roughly away, taking a step back and finally facing him.

"What would you know about what she wanted? You left us. How the hell would you know?!" she shouts. "Look at you. You're pathetic."

Peeta steps back, pain written all over his face. Tears are streaming from his eyes, but he doesn't wipe at them. Not now, not ever. He swallows, "Let it out Katniss."

Her eyes are wild; her own tears well up around her red rimmed eyes. "You listened to that bitch of a mother of yours when she said we weren't good enough for you. You listened to her and you left us. You left us!" her voice is turning shrill at this point. "And look at where we are. Our daughter is dead Peeta, she's dead! And she's not coming back. Oh my GOD! Why is this happening to us? I don't understand."

She falls to her knees, but before she lands on the ground Peeta is there to break her fall. "Oh Katniss," he cries.

She holds onto his arms, gripping them tightly as she comes face to face with the man she fights desperately to hate, but knows deep down she never stopped loving. The tears she fought to hold back are flowing down her cheeks. "She's gone. She's really gone. I thought this was a bad dream that I would eventually wake up from," she cries. "I thought that if I wished hard enough I would wake up and she'd still be five years old, sleeping in her bed down the hall from us and we'd still be married. Why did you leave? I loved you Peeta, I fucking loved you so much."

An anguished cry Katniss has never heard before comes from Peeta, but she can't stop the words flowing from her mouth.

"She always wanted us to get back together, you know. I'd get so an..gry with her every time she brought it up. I'd give anything… anything for her to say those words to me. No ma- matter how mad I get. But she's gone. Oh my God she's gone." Wracking sobs shake her form as Peeta tries to embrace her, but she pulls back once again. "I ca-n't breath. I can't feel anything but this gut wrenching hollowness. Make me feel again, Peeta! Please, just make me feel something."

He wraps his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

Their sobs continue as he brings his hands up to cup her face. He gently brushes her wild hair out of her face and wipes the tears on her cheeks with small kisses.

"I'm sorry."

He kisses her forehead (I'm sorry), both of her eyes (I'm sorry), her chin (I'm sorry) and finally coming (comes) to rest on her lips. His lips slant over hers, desperately wanting her to know the pain he's in over the death of their daughter. For the first time since her daughter's death, she is able to feel.

A/N:

This was written as a Valentine's Day gift for madefrommemories. It didn't exactly turn out the way I planned. Oops. Hehe. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed. Feedback is much appreciated.

A big thank you to yourpeetashowing for your quick beta work.


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